I'm only human.

There comes a time we have to stop, look in the mirror and take inventory. Are living to our fullest potential? Are being true to ourselves? Have we forgotten who we are?  If we aren't, what's stopping us?? I know I don't stop and ask myself any of those questions. It isn't until something life altering happens that we stop and are forced to take a look at what is going inside. It's what happens after that occurrence that is crucial & the most skipped step.......refocusing & taking care of it or ourselves. We tend to skip it because either we find it selfish of us or unnecessary or we don't like what we find. 

The life altering event that has taken place in my life seems to always bring me back to the basics. Fear. The fear of what others may think, the fear of loss or rejection....the fear of being alone. So as per usual, I avoid it and pretend it doesn't exist. Then something happened, I realized avoiding the issues or diving into something to distract me doesn't make it magically disappear...it tends to only make matters worse.  I distracted myself and became so consumed with the life I was trying to protect, the life I thought I wanted & wanted me because I've been fearful of losing it. I ignored that I was being neglected not just by outside parties but by my very own doing. I began trying and doing things to keep the life I had intact, instead of keeping myself intact first. Taking full inventory is not my most favorite task but it is necessary and it's only then can I figure out what is needed to make better choices for myself so I can make better choices for the life that solely depends upon me. 

Makes sense? Yeah.....it doesn't to me either but this is what goes on in my head. 
Jumbled thought.  LOL!!

I realize my weakness tends to be fear based because I so want to please the world around me and I often sacrifice myself for others for so many different reasons--some big reasons and some that are just plain silly. While I realize that being selfless isn't entirely a bad thing but it is when I lose myself in the process.  

So how do I stop the madness of my own fear based undoing?? 
Well......the best advice someone gave me was "Stop. Breathe. Take one step." 

So today I'm stopping, taking a breath & taking one step to remember I'm only human and that's okay. It's okay to be scared and it's okay to let everyone else go and focus on me. It's okay to do what I can.....when I can and take one step at a time to get back in the right direction. 

If you find that you've forgotten where you're going or who are or where you're supposed to be ..... Stop. Breathe. Take one step back and remember YOU.