Words I never thought I'd find myself saying....EVER. It's truth. I am in love with an addict. I have hidden this secret very well from most and from the outside most might think we've had a pretty awesome relationship--plus he loves my daughter as if she were his very own. In fact, he would never correct anyone if they called her his. Yet his daily struggle had become my daily struggle. We have had a brilliant yet tricky relationship. We have hurt each other to the point where most people would have just walked away and not even considered to go back and try again. Trust was destroyed. Hearts were broken. A family was torn apart.
Yet through the worst of it (and I mean WORST) we managed to hang on to something that is very real and lives deep inside each of us. Love. I am in love with this man beyond measure and I know without a shadow of a doubt he is in love with me. However, there are days I wonder if this will ever be enough & that's the honest truth. I wonder if this time around it will be enough to rebuild & sustain the relationship and protect the family we've created together. I wonder if it will be enough to survive another "worst of it" if it came down to it.
Is love enough?
Personally my answer is no--sometimes love just isn't enough and that's okay.
The love will never fail BUT...
Love cannot believe all things if there is no trust or forgiveness.
Love cannot thrive if there is no commitment of communication & team work.
Love cannot bear all things if only one is standing on a belief that it will get better.
Love cannot endure all things if there is no mutual respect.
These are all very essential parts of any relationship...love alone cannot make these things work....we have to do the work and there will be times we have to fight for what we believe in.
Everyday we have to wake up and make a commitment to love each through the flaws, to wake up committed to communicate and work as a team, to wake up and believe today is a new day.....loving each other every step of the way. This time around we find it to be a little tougher since there was a split it for a short while. It makes that option so much easier than to actual do the work. Seems to be the case with so many broken marriages and relationships, both parties aren't actually working on the essential parts...just hoping, believing and praying LOVE will conquer all.
It won't conquer all....
I wish it did but without daily prayer and supplication you can LOVE until you're blue in the face but until you begin to act on the essentials will you begin to be victorious when and if the "worst of it" resurfaces its ugly little face & you choose to go to battle.
So as we face a new year.....we go to battle.
We battle for the great love that lives in us.
No matter the outcome...we choose to fight for something we believe strongly in and will work on it ...one day at a time.
We both deal with his addiction on two different levels because we are affected by it differently BUT we have to be focused on the essentials of our relationship together....not always easy but feel the daily fight is worth it.
While loving someone through the worst of times is great, being an active participant in the daily battle is greater and makes it possible for LOVE to conquer all.
__________________________________________________
On a side note--
If you or someone you love suffers from an addiction I've put a link (you will have to copy and paste this link)with a ton of resources via www.drphil.com
http://resource.drphil.com/resource/alcohol-substance-abuse-resources/
Also visiting www.ncadd.org for more information regarding addiction
OR
If you are like me and love someone with an addiction and have felt like your life has been consumed by their addiction I highly recommend contacting your local Al-Anon group (www.al-anon.alateen.org) or Nar-Anon group (www.nar-anon.org) and sitting through a few meetings......you have absolutely NOTHING to lose.
Is love enough?
Personally my answer is no--sometimes love just isn't enough and that's okay.
The love will never fail BUT...
Love cannot believe all things if there is no trust or forgiveness.
Love cannot thrive if there is no commitment of communication & team work.
Love cannot bear all things if only one is standing on a belief that it will get better.
Love cannot endure all things if there is no mutual respect.
These are all very essential parts of any relationship...love alone cannot make these things work....we have to do the work and there will be times we have to fight for what we believe in.
Everyday we have to wake up and make a commitment to love each through the flaws, to wake up committed to communicate and work as a team, to wake up and believe today is a new day.....loving each other every step of the way. This time around we find it to be a little tougher since there was a split it for a short while. It makes that option so much easier than to actual do the work. Seems to be the case with so many broken marriages and relationships, both parties aren't actually working on the essential parts...just hoping, believing and praying LOVE will conquer all.
It won't conquer all....
I wish it did but without daily prayer and supplication you can LOVE until you're blue in the face but until you begin to act on the essentials will you begin to be victorious when and if the "worst of it" resurfaces its ugly little face & you choose to go to battle.
So as we face a new year.....we go to battle.
We battle for the great love that lives in us.
No matter the outcome...we choose to fight for something we believe strongly in and will work on it ...one day at a time.
We both deal with his addiction on two different levels because we are affected by it differently BUT we have to be focused on the essentials of our relationship together....not always easy but feel the daily fight is worth it.
While loving someone through the worst of times is great, being an active participant in the daily battle is greater and makes it possible for LOVE to conquer all.
__________________________________________________
On a side note--
If you or someone you love suffers from an addiction I've put a link (you will have to copy and paste this link)with a ton of resources via www.drphil.com
http://resource.drphil.com/resource/alcohol-substance-abuse-resources/
Also visiting www.ncadd.org for more information regarding addiction
OR
If you are like me and love someone with an addiction and have felt like your life has been consumed by their addiction I highly recommend contacting your local Al-Anon group (www.al-anon.alateen.org) or Nar-Anon group (www.nar-anon.org) and sitting through a few meetings......you have absolutely NOTHING to lose.
No comments:
Post a Comment